1 Funny Story and 1 Not Funny

(the funny one)
1. A bunch of us were out bowling with Dave, our special neighbor. Dave was talking about hockey and mentioned that in women's hockey you aren't allowed to check. We all agreed that that was pretty stupid and made hockey way less fun, Dave replies:
"Yay, thats why I play mens hockey"

(the not so funny one)
2. Adam calls me and tells me I need to hurry and get home, right as I was pulling into Michaels, the craft store. I ask why now since I'm so close to Michaels. He says if I don't come home now he will get arrested. He goes on to explain that there are two Reno Marshalls at our house demanding $350 for a speeding ticket he forgot to pay back in August, which was $130 at that time. So I hurry home, going no more than 5 over the posted speed limit to find Adam, not at our house but at the apartment office lobby, with plenty of people around, surounded by two large fully armed and suited officers. I was not happy. I kindly told them that if they would just simply have sent a reminder they wouldn't have to waste their time chasing down people who accidently forgot to pay a speeding ticket. The officers said that they don't send bills or warnings because they assume we are all adults and don't need reminders......my point exactly, you know what assuming does
PS: The speeding ticket was in the category of 5-10mph over, a very dramatic response if you ask me