An introduction to our neighbor Dave

This was an acutal conversation Adam and I had with our neighbor Dave, whose a mathmatic genious. His girlfriend is coming into town to visit the next day

Me: So are you gonna clean your house and stuff for Rosa
Dave: Should I?
Me: Well ya, at least vaccum
Dave: oh....do you guys have a vaccum?
Me: Yes Dave, and you can borrow it
Dave: Are they really expensive cause I don't wana break it
Me: Dave, your not gonna break a vaccum, all you do is turn it on.
Dave: but i dont know how to empty the bag and stuff. How do you turn it on?
-So i show Dave how to turn it on
-Dave comes over a few minutes later
Dave: how do i make it do that angle thing?
Me: What?
Dave: like to make it go under things?
-Adams explains how to make it do the "angle thing"
-So Dave finishes and brings the vaccum back over.
Dave: How do I know if it worked?
Me: The floor looks cleaner, or there's dirt in the vaccum container
-After kind of standing there for a minute he says
Dave: So what do you do about like the bathroom and laundryroom floor? (which is tile)
-Adam and I look at eachother and smile. I already start to get up and get him a broom
Adam: you sweep it
Dave: what about a mop?
Adam: you have to sweep first Dave
-So Dave borrows a mop and a broom. Again he comes over unsure of what he has done and gets Adam. He was afraid the mop might have actually "pushed dirt on to the floor" because the kitchen tile still looked dirty he said. Adam explained to him that the tile is varigated and suppose to look that way.

Dave is very special, we have to help him out a lot. All he eats is hot pockets and frozen pizzas (after we showed him how to use the oven, no joke)